Big Brother Season 12: Eviction Night and "The Highest Form of Flattery is Totally Making Fun of Someone"

There will not be a chat on last night's episode of Big Brother. Instead, I shall impress you all with my awesome snark-writing abilities. I know, it's rather exciting.

So, the first order of business is yes, I am fully aware of how ridiculous the title of this post is and if you didn't hear Rachel say that exact line on last night's episode of Big Brother, you can go ahead and consider yourself lucky. But whatever made her say such a thing in the first place? Well, while Rachel and Brendon were hanging making out in the "yard" of the Big Brother house, Britney, Matt and Ragan went and hung out in Rachel's HoH room and as Britney put it, you can't just hang out in Rachel's HoH room without making fun of her. And so Britney and Matt proceeded to go through Rachel's belongings, find her bright red hair extensions and clip them into their own hair. Britney then marched around the HoH room, screaming at the top of her lungs, attempting to act like Rachel and as her pitch grew higher and higher, I have to say she was pretty damn close to imitating Rachel, whose voice, just for the record, has the tendency to give me an instant headache. So Big Brother then cuts to Rachel marching up the steps, down the hallway and into the HoH room to catch these people--who are really, really not her friends. But she does not really grasp that and thinks it's funny and sits on the bed and watches Britney, whose intention is to make fun of her in order for her to get mad, and laughs her ass off. It is then where Rachel says "The Highest Form of Flattery is Totally Making Fun of Someone."

Yeah. Not quite, Rachel. I'm so sorry to break this very delicate news to you that I know will just strike you at your core, but just say it with me--Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. There, that's better.

But now, onto the actual important stuff about last night's episode of Big Brother, and I promise not to bring up Rachel again. Okay, that is a total lie, but I won't bring her up much more. Promise.

[My fingers may or may not have been crossed behind my back as I typed that.]

So tonight's episode was another eviction episode, hosted by Julie Chen. I did not take note of her dress this episode though, which is weird because I usually do. I think my Julie Chen stylist crush is over.

Up for eviction this week was Kristen and Hayden, who just so happen to also be in a showmance that they kept pretty secret until they decided to make out in a bedroom when they thought Andrew was sleeping and when Andrew was evicted from the Big Brother house, he let the rest of the house guests know that Kristen and Hayden were involved. Rachel did not like that she and Brendon were no longer the only showmance on Big Brother and after she and Kristen got into a verbal screaming match, Rachel, who was the HoH for the second time this season, nominated them both for eviction.

Britney won the Power of Veto and, after Rachel told her that if she used it to get Hayden off the block, she would put Lane up for eviction, who also happens to be one of Britney's "friends" as well as a member of the "Brigade" along with Hayden, Enzo and Matt. Because Britney didn't want to see one of her friends put up on the block, she did not use the Power of Veto to save anyone and left Hayden and Kristin on the block to campaign for themselves and thus breaking up the second showmance of the season. Personally, I would have loved to see Lane put up on the block and sent home, although because the brigade is still so strong, he wouldn't have gotten evicted, but it would have been nice. I used to not be able to remember who Lane was, but Big Brother has been showing a great deal more of him in recent episodes and I'm pretty much disgustingly sick of him and the incessant talk of hunting, trucks and rifles.

Kristen started campaigning for herself among the house guests, trying to save herself from being evicted from the Big Brother house and right before the live eviction, we got to see a little more about where Kristen and Hayden come from. Big Brother showed Hayden's home life first; specifically, they showed his mother watching him on the show and most notably, his showmance with Kristen.

I got a very, very icky and creepy feeling from Hayden's mother. She literally cringed when she saw Hayden kissing Kristen on the show and was not shy about telling the camera exactly what she thought of Kristen--that she is crazy, not genuinely interested in Hayden and if she were able to speak to Hayden right now, she would tell him to think with the head on his shoulder and not, ummm... that other one. Seeing and hearing from Hayden's mother has made me really wish the best for him when he goes home because I think his mother may be a bit jealous of any girl he tries to date. That also explains why he needed to be away from his mother to start some semblance of a relationship.

As creeped out as I was by Hayden's mother, she may have been onto something with Kristen because we heard from Kristen's friends back in her hometown of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Turns out, Kristen left a boyfriend back home that no one knew about. They had been dating for two months prior to Kristen going on Big Brother and before she left for the show, her boyfriend asked if she wanted to be single on the show and she told him no. Turns out she chose to be single on the show anyway, hence her relationship with Hayden and when we hear from her boyfriend, he says their relationship is over.

Throughout the episode, Kristen is wearing the hippie-tard, complete with matching, frizzed-out wig, which she acquired through the Power of Veto competition. It looked hilarious and in a live eviction vote of 6 to 1, Kristen was evicted from the Big Brother house--in the hippie-tard.

And right about here is where I cannot help but bring Rachel back up as a topic of discussion. I'm sorry, but seriously people. In Kristen's goodbye videos recorded by each house guest in the event Kristen was evicted from the house, Rachel yet again said the words "no one gets between me and my man," referring to, of course, Brendon. Renee and I have mentioned during every single chat about Big Brother season 12 thus far that we are afraid for Brendon and his well-being after he leaves Big Brother. I am almost tempted to buy him some barbed wire to put up around his house and have it sent to him in the event that he cannot escape Rachel and she ends up stalking him and trying to break into his home. How completely enamored Rachel is with Brendon skirts on downright frightening and she has accused every single woman who has left the show so far of trying to "steal her man." In this case, Rachel even went as far as to call Kristen a "trifling ho" because while Kristen was campaigning to save herself from eviction, she had the audacity to talk to Brendon behind Rachel's back.

What I find particularly interesting is that a few episodes back, Rachel told Britney, I think it was, and if it wasn't it was another female because Rachel always starts feuds with females, that she does not call women bitches because she does not use that "derogatory term." I gave Rachel the kudos she deserved for saying that, but now I must ask myself--why is bitch a "derogatory term" and "trifling ho" is an acceptable term we call females we feel threatened by? Rachel's world view boggles my mind, to say the least.

Also in the goodbye videos, Hayden came clean to Kristen about the brigade and who is in it, which is how he knew he was safe from eviction tonight. While Kristen was campaigning for herself, which Hayden actually told her to do, she began to wonder why he was not doing the same and had mentioned that he must be in some super alliance. She should have really followed her instincts and spoken up to more people about Hayden being in some sort of an alliance.

The person who will become the next HoH has the power to completely change the game as we know it from this point forward, or so says Julie Chen. While we saw the beginning of the HoH competition (house guests holding onto a railing along the sides of a giant paint can while paints gets doused on them and a giant paint brush rolls over them trying to knock them off--The last person standing on the side of the paint can is the new HoH) we'll find out who becomes the next HoH on Sunday. Also, the first person to fall off the side of the giant paint can will be the one and only have-not next week and we also find out who that will be on Sunday.

The reason why the upcoming HoH has the power to "change the course of the game" is because Big Brother has implemented a "Pandora's Box" where, if the new HoH chooses to open it, they unknowingly release the new saboteur. Since Annie was evicted in the first eviction, and she also happened to be the saboteur, Big Brother asked viewers to vote on who would become the new saboteur. Turns out that if the new HoH opens the Pandora's Box, the person chosen by the viewers to become the saboteur is given the option to wreak havoc within the Big Brother house. The two people with the most votes to become the saboteur were Enzo (which Renee called several times over the past few chats) and Ragan and in a very slim vote, Ragan ended up being the one chosen.

I think Ragan would make a pretty great saboteur, especially since he's a floater and could use a little excitement in his Big Brother life.

Julie Chen also revealed that next week past Big Brother house guests who also happened to be in a showmance, Jeff and Jordan, will appear on Big Brother to "visit" with the new Big Brother house guests. Because this is the first season of Big Brother I have ever watched, I have no idea who Jeff and Jordan are or what, exactly, "visiting" with the current Big Brother house guests mean, but I suppose we'll find out and according to the audience and the excitement on Julie Chen's face when she said it, this is pretty awesome news for fans of the show.

And there is your recap (and random thoughts from yours truly) on last night's episode of Big Brother. Don't forget to leave your thoughts on the episode in the comments!