Gossip Girl star and pop singer Taylor Momsen recently sat down for an interview with Disorder magazine and naturally, the topic of her love life came up. When asked if she was single by interviewer Taylor Glasby, Momsen said that she wasn't into guys, paused, and then added she isn't gay, just bored with men and her best friend is her vibrator.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with Momsen's response. It's actually refreshing to hear a 16 year old young woman unapologetically announce to the world (or anyone who reads this interview anyway,) that she doesn't need or even want a guy in her life right now; that her relationship status really has no bearing over who she is. This quote from Momsen could have actually been used to empower other young women and to not let their self worth be defined by their relationship status. But no, instead pretty much everyone is outraged by her vibrator.
Yes, Taylor Momsen is 16 years old and yes, she just admitted that she has a vibrator. Oh no, the horror! I mean, I can't think of anything worse than a 16 year old young woman getting herself off! Except if I think about a 16 year old young woman engaging in promiscuous and/or unprotected sex, contracting an STI or getting pregnant and becoming a mother at 16 years old. Yeah, come to think of it, that would definitely be worse than vibrating plastic--or whatever material Taylor Momsen's vibrator is made out of.
Taylor Momsen's mere mention of the fact that she has a vibrator brought on claims that she is "out of control" and some Twitter fire from Perez Hilton, you know, the celebrity gossip blogger who just wants all women to "act like a lady," as he claimed throughout that whole Miley Cyrus getting out of a car debacle. This is also coming from someone who has repeatedly referred to Momsen as a "prostitot." Taylor Momsen then had to school Perez Hilton in the difference between a dildo and a vibrator when he claimed that Momsen "couldn't live without her dildo." Never one to be upstaged, he then tweeted a picture of a dildo shaped like a fist with the caption "for Taylor Momsen."
Then the expected happened. The expected, but still completely and utterly shameful and hypocritical. The slut shaming brigade came to town and left their two cents in the comment section of that picture. The comments range from "That girls an attention seeking whore!" to "what self respecting 16yo has a vibrator? she used to be a role model and now she's a dirty whore." There are three pages full of slut shaming, double standard-laden comments, but those are the two I saw that immediately enraged me.
If Taylor Momsen had said she was seeing someone, would the topic of sex have come up? If it didn't in that interview, it would have eventually. The media seeks to know every detail of a celebrity's life; if that celebrity is a female, the media feels it is almost owed to them that they know who that woman is sleeping with at any given time. In turn, society has always felt the need to police a woman's sexuality.
Women are conditioned into thinking that their sexuality is dirty, wrong and always private. Have you ever noticed how completely and utterly adorable a little boy is considered to be when he has just found his penis and can't keep his hands off of it, yet if a young girl is seen with her hands on her vagina then there must be something wrong, she must be weird, her parents must not be teaching her right and we must make sure to tell that young girl that it is not acceptable for her to touch herself and for her to be curious. We really trying to stamp out positive body image and the idea of embracing sexuality from the moment a young girl first starts to discover her own body parts. Young women are then told that in order to be "self-respecting" she must abstain from having sex of any kind (including masturbation) so she can remain "pure" for her wedding day, for the sole purpose of allowing her new husband to claim her virginity.
The idea that a woman can rock her own world is obviously earth-shattering, but it really shouldn't be. It is common knowledge that as soon as a young man hits puberty, he is always masturbating. He's taking several showers a day, spending a ridiculous amount of time in the bathroom, in his bed, taking a few minutes out of the day whenever possible, wherever he is. This idea is also sold in the form of comedy on sitcoms, it was also seen in the first season of the hit show Parenthood last season. A young man's sexuality is natural, a young woman's on the other hand is non-existent, and if she is exercising self love, she's already conditioned into believing that it's wrong, dirty and something you don't talk about.
Getting yourself off and being okay with that is an attitude that should be celebrated. Teen girls are having sex at younger ages and regardless of how many times we tell young women that they shouldn't, they are going to anyway; the least society can do is give these young women the tools and knowledge that they need to live their lives as full as possible, where they are put in the driver's seat and where they can take responsibility for their own sexuality. Taylor Momsen loving her vibrator is a young woman taking responsibility for her sexuality--and being vocal about it. It is as self-respecting as you can get.
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