Thursday, July 8, 2010

Bristol Palin's Vacant and Kind of Creepy Appearance on The Secret Life of the American Teenager

Bristol Palin made a cameo appearance on the ABC Family show The Secret Life of the American Teenager this past Sunday.

Usually, when I see Bristol Palin making waves in the media I tend to ignore it. I read a headline, see a pretty ridiculous picture of her smiling or looking like she's going through some sort of Medieval torture and I keep on moving. I tend to write her off and look for something a little more newsworthy than Bristol Palin, the pure definition of an elitist, pampered princess trying to give advice to young women and teens who are in situations she could not fathom outside of her comfy cozy home with her support system in Wasilla, Alaska. But a cameo appearance of Bristol Palin on The Secret Life of the American Teenager kind of made sense when I first encountered media rumblings about it. I mean, she is pretty much the most famous teen mother, at the moment anyway, and the show is about teen pregnancy, teen motherhood and typically just teens and their endless tangled web of relationships. This is the type of thing Bristol Palin gets paid $30,000 a pop to talk about so this should have been a good fit, right?


I'll admit it, I have willingly watched The Secret Life of the American Teenager. I have sat through all of the horrendously bad acting and the eye-roll-inducing "feel good" moments that just kind of left me confused. I have continued watching this show even while frequently experiencing the overwhelming feeling of wishing I could transport myself into an episode of this show, take Grace Bowman by the shoulders and shake the pro-life, judgmental asshole gene right out of her. But I understand why people watch it. Sadly, the show is relatable and not only targets teens and young adults, regardless of whether or not they are a teen parent, but also their parents and the general adult population with children. It garners a pretty wide variety of viewers and while some would view the show and generally unbiased, because they have the gall to say the big, bad abortion word, I have noticed that it definitely has some concrete shaming undertones that do not sit comfortably with me.

While there is representation of both pro-life and pro-choice ideals, it is easy to see the difference between what characters are given certain moral compasses. The vehemently pro-life character, Grace Bowman is incredibly annoying and downright angering. She tells her so-called best friend not to get an abortion because she doesn't agree with it and then goes on to tell her mother's new husband that she doesn't think her friend would "do that to her" if she did end up choosing abortion because she already told her not to. This character is never really internally confronted with having to look at something from another young woman's point of view; people around her tell her that it isn't up to her to make a decision like that for someone else, but she never has to really "get it" and continues to go on with life completely ignorant. The very much pro-choice character however, and the character who just so happens to be the best friend of Grace Bowman who is pregnant and considering abortion, Adrian, is unapologetically pro-choice, but she is also the school "slut" who will sleep with anyone to make the one guy she is in love with jealous, which just so happens to be how she got pregnant. Yeah. It isn't that hard to figure out the true bottom line of this show.

Having Bristol Palin appear in an episode of this show was a fantastic move on the network's part for ratings. She has made it abundantly clear that she will continue to preach abstinence and she has made countless remarks for dozens of magazines with little tidbits of "advice" for young, teenage mothers. I was expecting more of that. More of what Bristol Palin can actually bring to this show, regardless of the fact that I find her to be completely nutty. After seeing a sneak peek of her cameo appearance, which was released by ABC Family about a week before the episode was due to air, I thought it was a little creepy. Bristol Palin cannot act. She looks like she is reading cue cards for the surprisingly little amount she had to say. I chalked that up to it being a sneak peek. Sure, her acting isn't going to get any better, but maybe she would end up saying something of actual relevance. Anything!

Instead, ABC Family thought that it would be better for Bristol Palin to appear on camera for exactly 1 minute and 16 seconds--and say absolutely nothing!



Told you so. And by the way, how unbelievably creepy is Bristol Palin!? She speaks like she has just stepped out of Stepford. When she said "We're all teen moms." I immediately thought "Oh my goodness, Amy! Run! Run for your life because she's about to kill you!" And then I remembered that this wasn't some weird, campy horror movie.

Which brings me to my next point.

Someone, please cast Bristol Palin in a ridiculously bad horror movie. I'm thinking something like House of Wax but instead of Paris Hilton, cast Bristol Palin. We already know she can make someone squirm in their seat just by trying to watch her speak.

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