That is precisely what happened with a clip from a recent episode of The View, which appeared on The Advocate. Whoopi Goldberg brings up the topic of more lesbians coming out later in life, "even after decades of heterosexuality" and asks the other three women at the table why this happening.
"I’ll tell you what’s happening, it’s that older men are going for younger women, leaving the women with no one."
(Full transcript below)
The title of The Advocate's post is actually quite fitting--"Elisabeth Hasselbeck Cracks Lesbian Code." There is no reason to talk about homosexuality anymore or why some people are gay and others are straight. No reason for any more books, articles, studies, or articles like these, because Elisabeth Hasselbeck has enlightened us all. She knows the truth and she has informed us of it. The reason why lesbians are coming out later in life is because all of the men are leaving them for younger women, leaving them with no one to turn to but each other.
I was actually a little perturbed by Sherri Shepherd's attempt at a response, saying "as women get older it's just like a been there, done that kind of thing." Maybe it's because I just don't see the point in analyzing and debating every single person's sexual orientation because I firmly believe that every person comes into their sexuality differently. Whatever the particular case may be, I think that chalking up a woman coming out as a lesbian later in life as nothing more than being bored with men diminishes that woman significantly. I do not like the idea of a woman coming out and then receiving comments like "Oh of course, it's because you're bored with men. I completely understand." It's like telling a teenager who comes out as gay that it is just a phase and they'll get over it. Comments like that severely diminish that person's journey and exploration of their sexuality.
While Joy Behar could be said to be the "voice of reason" in this discussion, as Shakesville points out, not every single woman who comes out as a lesbian later in life and who may be married, divorced, or have children from a heterosexual encounter or relationship was in the dark about her "true sexual orientation." It can be a choice to enter into a lesbian relationship, especially when we bring up the fact that gay and straight are not the two sole sexual orientations. People can also identify as bisexual or pansexual, wherein they could very well make a conscious choice to enter into a same-sex relationship or hold the belief that it does not matter what gender someone is as long as they are happy with them and you know what? That's totally fine. But no woman on The View brought up the subject of bisexuality, as if it just doesn't exist. In fact I would be willing to bet that Elisabeth Hasselbeck thinks what all women really want is a man. Her entire position on sexual orientation reminds me of Chasing Amy, where Banky tells Holden all about his philosophy on lesbians, saying "All every woman really wants - be it mother, senator, nun - is some serious deep-dicking."
Another thing that really pissed me off about this discussion is Elisabeth and Sherri saying that women don't necessarily need something sexual, that they're more needing something in terms of companionship at a certain age. Well, maybe I have not reached this very vague "certain age," but I can tell you this--if I am in a relationship where I am not getting laid, I am not happy in that relationship. I need my sexual relationship in conjunction with my companionship and while yes, there are some very happy sexless marriages out there that may work for some people, I am not going to say that it would work for most. While companionship is certainly important, sexual desire is important as well and to claim that older women are coming out as lesbians just because they need companionship, again diminishes that woman's journey and exploration of sexuality.
Transcript, thanks to Shakesville:
Whoopi Goldberg: There is a rise…in late-blooming lesbians. More and more women are choosing same-sex partners, even after decades of heterosexuality. Why do you think that is?
Sherri Shepherd: Is that saying as women get older, it's just like a 'been-there-done-that' kind of thing, and I'm open to—
Elizabeth Hasselbeck: No—no, and I'll tell you what's happening: All the older men are going for younger women, leaving the women with no one!
Joy Behar: So that's why they're suddenly sleeping with women? That's ridiculous.
[a bunch of stupid crosstalk]
Behar: You act like women are in jail—we're not in jail! I—
Hasselbeck: No, but you're searching for a companion that understands you, and if all the men who— Say you were in a heterosexual relationships; you're looking for that, but the men who are of your age, have had similar experience, are off chasing a little young—
Behar: Yeah, but, Elizabeth, being a lesbian, being gay is not just, you know, holding hands and walking through the tulips.
Hasselbeck: I understand that, but—
Behar: There are things that people do, sexually—
[crosstalk]
Hasselbeck: Thank you for educating me! [sarcastically]
Behar: Wait a minute; I'm not finished. But I don't think that you suddenly wake up and say, "You know, I think I wanna do that." You wanted to do it; you were just trapped in a system that said "Get married."
Shepherd: So you're saying all along—
Hasselbeck: Maybe, maybe not!
Behar: All along you knew you were gay, and you just didn't either admit it or you didn't acknowledge it or you didn't know it, maybe—
[crosstalk]
Hasselbeck: —but maybe there's also— We've done studies that women aren't necessarily needing something sexual; they're more needing something in terms of—
Shepherd: Companionship.
Hasselbeck: —companionship, at a certain age.
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